Owning up

Published April 28, 2017

By Tom Campbell

by Tom Campbell, Producer and Moderator, NC SPIN, April 27, 2017.

Why is it that the hardest words to say are, “I’m Sorry,” and “I made a mistake?” Think of the needless pain and problems that could be avoided if people, especially those in leadership, owned up to their mistakes.

If the CEO of United Airlines had immediately responded to the ticketed passenger being dragged off the plane by acknowledging it was terrible and unacceptable, then pledged to change company policies to ensure it didn’t happen again he could have prevented days of news and Internet coverage. It is highly unlikely that United’s stock price would have plummeted so dramatically or its reputation suffered so badly had the situation been better handled.

Attempting to do damage control without admitting the mistake only makes things worse. Pat McCrory might still be governor of North Carolina had he and our legislative leaders been willing to admit HB2 had damaged our state and immediately repealed the bill. Instead of owning up to the obvious embarrassment and economic fallout, they dug in and tried to defend it and deny the consequences. Our state ended up being blackmailed by the NCAA, NBA and corporate executives before finally capitulating, and the ultimate “repeal” didn’t make anyone very happy. We got our tournaments back and perhaps did enough for corporations to consider our state for relocations, but this issue isn’t over.

When we refuse to acknowledge out mistakes count on somebody pointing them out and the repercussions will be exponentially louder and more painful the more we refuse to admit our error. Think about the many millions of dollars UNC Chapel Hill has spent in legal fees surrounding the academic scandal that has plagued that great school for years. Hindsight is 20-20, but if Chancellor Holden Thorp and the UNC Administration had immediately acknowledged the problems and pledged to fix them they would have saved a lot of dollars, public embarrassment and possible sanctions from the NCAA. The entire affair would likely be only a memory today.

The best example of a political leader who understood the importance of owning up to mistakes was former Governor Jim Hunt. When something wrong happened in his administration, whether he had anything to do with the mistake or not, Hunt would quickly determine what happened, what damage had resulted and he would call a press conference to admit the problem in language that accepted responsibility and didn’t try to downplay the outcome. Just as quickly, he would say what he was going to do to fix the mistake. More times than not the issue quickly went away.

Of course the poster boy for covering up and not owning up to mistakes has to be Richard Nixon, but we see plenty of failures to confess shortcomings in government, corporate, religious and the nonprofit sectors; even more in personal relationships. We hate to admit we made a mistake.

Walter Scott, the author of Ivanhoe, aptly summed it up: “Oh, what a tangled web we weave….when first we practice to deceive.” Instead of “defend and deny” the best course is always to own up to our mistakes. No matter how large the mistake might be, it is surprising how often others will accept a sincere acknowledgement and apology, be willing to forgive the shortcoming and move on.