R-E-S-P-E-C-T

by Tom Campbell, Executive Producer and Moderator, NC SPIN, July 30, 2015.

Is it just me or have we come to a time when people can say anything they want with no sense of remorse of concern for others? The current presidential circus is filled with candidates calling each other names but this disrespectful conduct has filtered down and is now tolerated in North Carolina.

One State Senator called the Governor “tone deaf,” saying McCrory can’t decide whether he wants to be Governor of Charlotte or Mayor of North Carolina. Another claimed he has nothing to do with budget negotiations. One Representative publicly told McCrory to “shut up.” These are Republicans demeaning a governor of their own party. Another Representative referred to the residents of Greensboro as “willful and petulant children deprived of a treat, impotently flailing their little arms and legs about.” This name-calling, ridiculing and vilification reminds us more of children on a playground than elected officials doing the people’s business.

P.M. Forni, co-founder of the Johns Hopkins Civility Project, in his book Choosing Civility, says we have placed great value on self-expression in this culture, but we frequently confuse this with the need for self-control, a quality we expect people to have learned when they become adults. We wonder where are the grownups in the legislature and why aren’t they speaking out against this unacceptable conduct?

Many of us were raised in a time when elected officials, doctors, lawyers, pastors or those in high positions in commerce commanded certain deference, and I’m still old school enough to believe that the office of governor of our state, regardless of who occupies it, deserves respect.

Our mamas always told those of us born and raised in the South that, “if you can’t say something nice about someone, don’t say anything at all.” If someone acted rudely or displayed poor manners they obviously “ are not from around here.” At the least we would preface unpleasantries by beginning them by saying, “bless his heart…. That’s all changed. Native born Tar Heels have taken up the disparaging practice.

Have we become so self-important and narcissistic as to believe we can bash anyone any time we like? Our inappropriate conduct has sadly devolved to the point where anyone who disagrees with you on any point becomes your sworn enemy. Not only must you prevail in an argument with those who disagree but you aren’t to stop until the person is humiliated, eviscerated and stomped upon.

My father served in the legislature, back in the 70s and it was common for R’s and D’s to socialize, eat meals, stay in the same hotel and work closely together on legislation. Now the two parties barely speak to one another. It is difficult to treat anyone with admiration who shows contempt or disrespect for other officeholders and the public.

Are these tactics designed to divert our attention from what is really being accomplished on Jones Street? Our lawmakers would get more done by focusing on issues instead of personalities.

Incivility is uncalled-for, unappreciated and definitely unproductive. This toxic, unacceptable behavior won’t end until folks call it out and declare that further discussion and debate be mannerly or else discontinued.

Aretha Franklin spelled it out in her 1960s song. What we want, what we need and what we should demand is a little more r-e-s-p-e-c-t.