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 Getting Older
by Tom Campbell
July 29, 2010
I celebrated a birthday this week, one of those milestone anniversaries that officially categorize me.
Nobody wants to dwell on getting older, but this one was hard to ignore. When your oldest child is 41, you’ve got clothes older than your senior pastor, and your mailbox is crammed with offerings for Medicare supplemental coverage, you just might be getting older.
I’m working on a Jeff Foxworthy type routine. Let me try out some of my lines. My new bumper sticker says “60 is the new 40.” Pulling an all nighter means not getting up in the night to go to the bathroom. What’s it to you if my hair isn’t a color found in nature? Yes, I’m deliberately driving 20 miles per hour just to get on your nerves. And what’s wrong with eating dinner at 4 p.m.?
Whatever happened to respecting and valuing your elders? You’ve got a better chance of getting hit by a bus than getting a job if you’re over 55. Nobody will publicly admit this but the emphasis is on hiring, promoting and seeking opinions from young people. I know all about youth. I was part of the Pepsi Generation and spent a lot of years getting these grey hairs and wrinkles. And for what? Senior citizens’ discounts at Bojangles? Where are the whippersnappers sitting at my feet waiting to soak up the pearls of wisdom? Aren’t there laws about age discrimination? Look buddy, Mick Jagger can still rock and roll with the best of them.
Demographers say North Carolina’s over-60 population will increase by 40 percent between now and 2030, outnumbering those under 17. The bad news is that we are overweight, out of shape, more prone to using drugs than teenagers and, worst of all, haven’t saved enough for retirement, which means either more government programs for seniors or else we’re going to move in with Junior. Since we outvote those under 40, I’m betting on more government programs. Do you seriously think we are going to let Social Security and Medicare benefits get cut? We’re expected to live until we’re 80, so you’d better get ready to deal with us oldies-but-goodies.
Baby Boomers have changed the culture every decade since the 1960’s and will continue to do so. Looking ahead, I see more plush retirement homes where folks spend their kids’ inheritances. TV will have to adapt with shows like Grandfather knows best, Dancing with the Geriatrics, The Betty White Show and late evening news at 9 p.m. Manufacturers will be forced to design packaging that you can actually open without a chainsaw or pliers.
There is a freedom that comes with getting older, but also the wisdom to eat better, exercise more and get plenty of rest. I’ve made a personal promise to accept changes with grace and good humor. I may be old, but I don’t have to be crotchety and negative and….what else was I going to say?
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