Been thinking about....the Six Thirty national news

Published November 2, 2023

By Joe Mavretic

Good evening......I'm somebody from somewhere.
Tornados are still wrecking houses all over the mid-west. One tornado erased all of a small town in Kansas except one was a miracle!
Just listen to this survivor!
ADVERTISING BREAK: There is this extraordinary new drug that will do wonderful things for your skin except you shouldn't take it if you are allergic to it (don't read the small print on the bottom of the ad). 
WELCOME BACK. A tree fell on a house in Mississippi....there's been a lot of rain there this year. There was a flash flood in Arizona...there hasn't been much rain there this year. Automobile drivers still haven't learned to "Turn around, don't drown."
ADVERTISING BREAK: The latest pickup truck is the best one ever built and is #1 according to some independent company that specializes in ranking trucks.
WELCOME BACK. A  bunch of migrants from Central and South America figured out a new way to cross the Rio Grande....AND....there were lots of women and children in those groups...AND....Texas sent them somewhere. The immigration system is broken.
ADVERTISING BREAK: A giant Pharma Company has created an exceptional kidney/liver drug that you shouldn't take if you intend to get pregnant (don't read the small print on the bottom of the ad).
WELCOME BACK. The U.S. is holding hearings. The United States House of Representatives is conducting several investigations. President Biden said something. Former President Trump is standing trial and running for President. We should do something about our military veterans AND there are a lot of homeless people in big cities. A train derailed and a bus turned over AND...a large factory caught on fire.
ADVERTISING BREAK: A new drug with a strange name that includes at least a Q, V, X, or Z will do wonderful things for your body - just ask your doctor about it (don't read the small print on the bottom of the ad). 
WELCOME BACK. Watch this. A little girl did something cute! Thanks for watching. See you tommorrow night.
TAKEAWAYS: You have to watch advertising to get "Free TV."
Most news is the same thing at different places.