Mitt Romney

Remember a few years back when Mitt Romney, running for president against Barack Obama, referred to having many women “in binders”? He meant the names of women he would recruit for his administration, but nobody got past the binders image and Romney’s presidential aspirations were shelved. In a binder somewhere I’m guessing.

These days, Dems, including me, want to like Romney. We’ve even stopped joking about his magic underpants because it’s not cool to make fun of somebody’s cult, er, religion. We love how much he detests Trump not just because of the dictator-for-a-day dumbness but because, to an achingly earnest blueblood like Romney, Trump with his garish, braggy persona just seems, well, common.

It’s ironic: Romney’s patrician manners were his undoing on the campaign trail back in 2012, while Trump’s coarseness contributed to his 2016 win. (I knew Romney was doomed when during a question about what teams he liked, he managed something about how he “enjoyed sport” as much as the next fellow. Sorry, “Sport.” You don’t sound real or relatable and now you must go.)

Because he’s not seeking re-election to his Utah Senate seat, Romney’s finally free to say what he really thinks. And not just about Trump being nominated again. Just this week, he got candid about Hunter Biden, but, yeah, it was classic Mitt.

“Obviously (Hunter Biden) has been a very unsavory person with some extremely damaging personal foibles.”

Which sounds like something you’d say right before you asked your manservant to fetch your dressing gown.

You can’t shmooze the stalwarts at the Cedar Rapids Moose Lodge with that prissy talk.

Here, Mittens. Let me put it like a Democrat would: Hunter’s a nepo baby who did a lot of coke back in the day and makes overpriced art.

Why was he talking about Hunter Biden? I’m glad you asked me, Sport. (OK, that’s actually a lot of fun to say.) Romney is, as he might put it in his aristocratic manner, vehemently perturbed by the House Republicans’ plan to impeach Hunter’s dad, Joe.

“You can’t impeach because of the sins of the child,” said Romney, who, when he says it sounds totally like Moses is speaking. He added if he was in the House he would absolutely not vote for Biden’s impeachment because…Well, let’s let Fox News explain it via “Fox & Friends” host and Trump sycophant Steve Doocy: “They’ve got a lot of ledgers and spreadsheets, but they haven’t shown where Joe Biden did anything illegal.”

Somebody fetch my smelling salts! Steve Doocy just said there’s no evidence Biden has committed an impeachable offense? Uh oh. Somebody in Florida just threw his puddin’ cup at the wall. That’s another backstabber who will pay on Day One blah, blah, blah.\

 It has been refreshing to see Republicans go after Trump because, honestly, we Dems are exhausted. It’s about time you chipped in and the pity is there aren’t more of you. Why not follow the lead of brave souls like former Congresswoman Liz Cheney with whom I agree on absolutely nothing except the nagging suspicion Trump will destroy democracy? Strange bedfellows and all that. It’s the same with former New Jersey Governor Chris Christie, a recovering Trump supporter who is so tough-talking against his old boss on the debate stage, even Tony Soprano might look up from his gabagool and peppers to say, “Take it down a notch paisan.”

A few others with less name recognition are speaking out against a Trump nomination—polls keep showing former South Carolina Governor Nikki (“At least she took the flag down”) Haley could beat Joe Biden—but there should be more.

I believe it was former Republican Congressman George Santos who said, “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.”

Don’t get caught doin’ nothing, Sport.

Celia Rivenbark is a columnist and NYT-bestselling author. Write to her at celiarivenbark@gmail.com.