Parents, teachers and students themselves all have role in monitoring social media

Forget the old adage about sticks and stones. Words do hurt, especially now that tormentors have a tool to spread their cruel taunts far and wide. The social media culture encourages bullies and their enablers to pile on without having to own up to the pain they've inflicted on another human being. Pretty soon the chosen target is subjected to hateful comments at home and at the mall, as well as at school.

A teen whose self-esteem is attacked mercilessly is three times as likely as her peers to consider or succeed at suicide. So says an analysis conducted by a fourth-year psychiatric resident of the University of Arksansas for Medical Sciences who outlined her findings at a conference of the American Psychiatric Association earlier this year.

News stories provide heartbreaking anecdotes that seem to support Dr. Kristi Kindrick's findings. Last week a 12-year-old Lakeland, Fla., girl jumped to her death after being terrorized relentlessly by cyberbullies who continued to harass her even after she changed schools. Last year a gay Texas teenager took his life, apparently a day after he received threatening texts, and after enduring repeated bullying at school. Last September, a 15-year-old California teenager hanged herself after photos of her being sexually assaulted while she was passed out at a party spread through social media and other Internet sites. Stories from the past year reveal that teens in Canada, England and Scotland also have chosen to give up rather than face another day at the mercy of a cyberbully.

There are many others who endure this torture without taking such drastic steps, but not without lasting damage. It has to stop.

School officials and state lawmakers have been trying to combat this 21st-century form of bullying, but it's difficult to tell whether their efforts are working. Clearly, mean-spirited posts are all over the Internet, and the proliferation of social media sites makes it difficult to enforce laws and codes of conduct on public networks.

Anti-bullying laws, school policies and a focus on educating students about acceptable and unacceptable behavior have put a focus on this societal ill. Kids are forced to think about how their words affect others, and they're told that it's not OK to pick on someone who's perceived as weaker or different, or who has somehow fallen out of favor with the clique. Even so, it's hard to enforce activity that takes place on a worldwide network.

Teachers and administrators are less tolerant of bullying than in the old days when it was viewed as a rite of passage, but they can't follow their students home or review their Twitter feeds. Parents can. Friends can, and they should report bullying to a responsible adult. Moms and dads must be as vigilant of their child's online activity as they are about keeping track of their offspring's friends.

It's not always easy. Teens and tweens hate feeling as though their privacy is being invaded, and they often are reluctant to confide their problems to Mom or Dad.

But, kids – that's what parents are for. Talk to them.